Future Docs Blog

A vasectomy is a major procedure for a man to go through and comes with 7-10 days of downtime afterward. While they’re waiting for the pain to dissipate and the healing to complete, there’s not much to do other than wait.

The result, though, is totally worth it and certainly worth celebrating. The hard part’s done. Now they can relax. While you can go with the care package route, many funny vasectomy gift ideas exist. These gift baskets will surely put a smile on their face and get them in a good mood.

Here are some places to start with filling in your vasectomy gift basket.

Idea #1: Nuts And Snacks

Nuts and snacks referencing what’s been snipped are low-hanging fruit, but it’s sure to make someone smile after a procedure like this. They’re also easy gifts to find in any store.

You can always scratch out words or add words to the packaging to make it say something a little different and funnier if you want to get creative.

Idea #2: Hanging Ornament

Especially if the vasectomy is happening close to the holidays, a hanging ornament works well. Any sort of small home décors covered with a witty pun or clever joke is another welcome pick for a vasectomy gift basket.

Just be sure they’re not too heavy, too impolite, and/or too large, as this gift won’t be the centrepiece of your basket.

Idea #3: Get Well Soon Card

Some very creative and funny ‘Get Well Soon’ cards are already out there. Making your own is certainly an option. You’ve got some classic funny ones for those more X-rated, playful, or sincere.

If you want to get cheeky and are confident in knowing the other person’s sense of humour, a ‘Get Well Soon card is sure to fire up their laugh track.

Idea #4: Plushie

A plushie is a kind gift but can also be easily tailored to the vasectomy theme. Of course, finding a plushie reminiscent of a male appendage is certainly out there.

Anyone can customize a plushie just by hanging a little necklace or tag around their neck, equipped with a tagline, message, or get-well wish that’s in line with the occasion.

Idea #5: Bruised Balls Keychain

A bruised balls keychain, while graphic, if that’s alright by the person’s sense of humour, you’ve got a winner. Have a look around the house for common items. Socks. Baking aprons. Pillow covers and pillowcases.

These things, and so many others, can be customized by a skilled artisan and made into something about getting a vasectomy. Let your creativity run wild!

Idea #6: Cold Therapy Pack

A cute cold therapy pack with a note referencing the vasectomy is a friendly way to show kindness. Post-procedure, the guy will already be grabbing for a cold of some kind to bring the swelling down and keep the healing going. Try to find a cold therapy pack small enough to be used on their privates.

Idea #7: Vasectomy T-Shirt

A vasectomy t-shirt is sure to be loved. There are some great DIY t-shirt stores, and vasectomy-themed merchandise vendors with shirts will find all sorts of related wordings. A clever pun. A cheeky hint. An X-rated comment. There are so many places you can go with a t-shirt like this and, bonus, shirts like this are never expensive.

Idea #8: Boxer Briefs

Vasectomy boxer briefs are made specifically to offer testicular support and pain relief. These can be tailored a bit to make them a little funnier with a little creativity. This is where your ‘inner joke writer’ can shine. Try to create something flirtatious or witty to write on the packaging.

Idea #9: Vasectomy Bathrobe

A bathrobe should be comfy and extra-soft. If you want to customize it a bit, adding a vasectomy-themed image or catchphrase on the back of the robe is sure to get a laugh.

If you are already considering buying a vasectomy t-shirt, you may want to skip the bathrobe as you won’t want to go too heavy on clothing for a gift basket like this.

Idea #10: Vasectomy Stickers

Vasectomy stickers are affordable and can be put on any product – food, merchandise, clothing, knick-knacks, etc. – and turn it into a laugh-out-loud gift.

If you’re unsure about writing your jokes, buy vasectomy-themed stickers and use them to cover gifts in your vasectomy gift basket. Message sent and work done.

Idea #11: Funny Vasectomy Coffee Mug

A funny vasectomy coffee mug is another way to go. Many interesting, funny, and sometimes X-rated mugs are on sites like Amazon, Etsy, and specialty shops.

Maximize space in your gift basket by filling the mug with chocolates, nuts, or a sweet you know they’ll appreciate. The beauty of this gift is you can also create your own simply by buying a clear white mug and decorating it yourself.